I have been absent from this blog for a while only because it’s that time of life which most writers arrive at, sooner or later. Lightning strikes out of the clear blue sky and you know that your number is up.
I have been self-publishing for almost four years. I have 15 books published and two others out of print. I have published poetry and non-fiction, flash fiction and stories. And I might have continued that path – until this.
Have you seen a cat eyeing a mouse? Nothing else exists – there is only one thing on their furry little minds. That is what happens when you reach this time of life.
It’s not the same urge, of course, but it has the same inevitability about it. The whole world shrinks or maybe it’s you who shrinks. All you want to do is hibernate, disappear, put the phone off the hook, avoid invitations, collect every stray minute like a squirrel collecting acorns and bow to the inevitability of your writing nature.
No, it is not depression. It is just the opposite of the low phase. You never feel more alive. It is the overwhelming and uncontrollable urge to write a novel.
Writers who read this are probably nodding. They have been there too. Not yet? Wait, it will descend upon you one day. It will.
Yes, I am working on my first novel and it has turned me almost invisible. I have dropped out of a lot of things and cut out many more.
What can I do? It is long and tough journey. It may look easy and refreshingly simple from the outside, but from the inside it is more like climbing the Himalayas barefoot. The blank page is unforgiving but must be crossed and re-crossed every day.
The first time is the hardest. I don’t know what I am doing but when has that ever stopped me? That is the best part. I am plunging on, meandering, making a mess, going backwards as often as forwards but determined to reach that Himalayan goal – the last page.
And you know what – if there is heaven, this is it.
Now I am part way through the process and the blankness is showing a faint hint of shape. I have some notes and more pages than I want to count. The novel will take a long time still but, now that my path is set, I can return to a few things I cut out, like blogging. I have a few posts planned – on the self-publishing journey, literary festivals and fiction writing and whatever else comes along.
So, I will be back with more posts and more updates. Thank you for reading this.